Trying Freedom

This year has been all over the place in terms of knowing what to do with life and if you’ve read the last posts you will have an idea why, however, this all came to a head in the last couple of months since the last post as my Mum passed away on September the 16th.

Since then, things have been strange, for want of a better word. I’ve been taking things daily and spending a lot of time surrounded by family while helping with arrangements and all the red tape at the same time. It’s a real relief that I’m not working, as it’s all so draining I think I’d be struggling much more.

Nearly two months on, and I can say I’ve got a long way to go with processing everything. To be honest, I don’t know where I’m at with it. However, I’ve got a lot of life to keep living to keep making Mum proud.

With that in mind I’ve been keeping busy, I had a lovely weekend away with the family in Mundesley, spent nearly two weeks in a borrowed camper van (thanks Shaun) touring around the UK, a day trip to London to watch West Ham beat Manchester United and another trip over to the Peaks to introduce a friend to trad climbing.

The UK tour was sparked by signing up to be a mock student at PyB in North Wales for candidates doing their Mountaineering and Climbing Instructor Assessment (something I have thought about working towards long term) and ended up with a free week in between assessment dates.

It was a great experience to see what kind of things you’d be assessed on and the level of knowledge needed, whilst also getting to explore PyB and some of the options they have to start building towards that long-term goal, which has given me plenty to think about since getting back home.

Touring around in the camper van was great fun and changed my perspective on living in a camper van for the positive, so much so that I’ve already listed my car for sale in the hope that I can start my project – if you want a Vauxhall Adam, hit me up. I was able to pack most of my life into the back and explore Wales, Scotland and the Peaks in one trip, there’s no way I would’ve done that if I’d been packing a tent up most nights.

I even managed to come back with more stuff than I’d left with, in the form of a road bike, I’m not completely sure if I’m having another life crisis of some description but for now, it’s a fun way to get outside that doesn’t seem to blast my knees as much as running. Not sure if winter was the right time to get into it but we’ll see how it goes.

Scotland and Ben Nevis was by far the highlight, although I’d been once before as a kid (thanks to my teen years my brain can’t remember that anymore) and once in 2022, but on that trip, I flew from London and then took a train directly into Aviemore so I wasn’t able to appreciate the landscape you get when driving through the highlands, especially when you see the three sisters in Glencoe which I’d wanted to do for ages.

I enjoyed it so much that I got home and booked a winter climbing course there in February next year. It didn’t stop there though, my mind was in overdrive with ideas so along with planning various different climbing trips with climbers I’ve met on UKC forums, I also joined the Alpine Club and put my name forward for some upcoming meets, the first of which is this weekend back at PyB coincidentally.

Last but not least, I’ve been thinking about getting another tattoo for a while and after my sister took the plunge last week it gave me the push I needed to find the right one for me and get booked in.

In memory of Mum who gifted me a bracelet featuring St Christopher before I first went travelling – which was of such impeccable quality I’ve lost the charm and the bracelet isn’t far from breaking, but also a constant reminder not to break into old habits and remember everything I keep telling myself here.

I’ll end with the title, when I say everything has been strange the strangest part is that after all of the trauma and such an intense time, life goes on, having recently been asked how I’d measure ‘success’ in my life it’s by adventures and that’s exactly why I’ve written everything above – next year is going to be my best.